2014 taught me to learn from my mistakes the first time around, to put myself before anyone else, & to stop saying one thing and doing another. But also learning how to say no.. It has been the year that consisted of my bed being my favourite hello and saddest goodbye. When i ended up falling in love with the moon, because it faithfully showed up, night after night. Where i lost plenty off ' friends' but made plenty of new ones. where i forgave people that didn't deserve my forgiveness, but told myself grudges will no longer be held.
2014 was the year reading in my bedroom was my safe haven because I was too afraid of facing reality.
I'm hoping 2015 will be my year because of its not I don't think any year will be. I'm hoping college will get a little better because right now leaving would be the most exciting thing then that Christmas morning when i got a dog of santy!
This year was the year that listening to the wash machine and tumble dryer actually relaxed me (when i actually turned it on) because it was so loud I couldn't think. It felt like my reality because my whole world was shaking. I don't know if anyone knows what I'm talking about or if you've thought about it either, but every single new year everyone says my life's going to change next year and everythings going to be different but what is a good year suppose to look like.. When you don't know what way you could wake up (sad or happy) or what the future holds. People say "it's a bad day. Not a bad life" but how does everyone know if there not living yours? To me it seems like everytime 1 small good thing happens it's over powered by 1 million bad things. Every year your going to make mistakes just hopefully not the ones you've made before, because mistakes are meant for learning not repeating. I don't understand why we make mistakes and then say everything happens for a reason to make ourselves feel better about themselves. I think people are so afraid of the mistakes they make because of our society and how we can be looked upon by them when so many people have made the exact same ones. I think everyone is so much more than their mistakes. Why when someone does one wrong thing people forget about the 1 million good things they did right?
Happy new year guys❤️
xoxo
CJ
