When your body changes, so does the image of yourself.

Its 2015 and appearance is more than likely what everyone thinks about after they get out of bed or even when they wake up. Trust me I do it myself trying to get a "GOOD MORNING" selfie on Snapchat. 

Appearance nowadays is so important to our lives, but there is definitely more to life than your appearance. And I know its harder than it looks but why can’t we stop allowing something so superficial control our every thought. 

I remember when I was like 6,7,8,9,10 years old and I would never question whether I was good looking or not. I don’t even think my appearance mattered to me. I just assumed I was beautiful because my family didn’t tell me otherwise, and your grandparents would reassure you of that fact. I use to come down looking like Pippy long stockings and they would tell me I looked like a princess. I could play all day in the muck and get so dirty and feel so good about myself. When I looked at my reflection in the mirror I made funny faces. I never considered even something wrong with my body or the fact that my hair never seemed to stand still. I was definitely a beautiful creature back then because I was happy the way I was. Now I lose myself in the mirror no longer finding what I am but staring at what I don’t have and what I am not. We, and when I say we I mean me as well. 

We judge people by there outward appearance even though there’s a 90% chance that in both cases our assumptions are wrong. 

Getting up in the morning for college is so hard for me. I do not do mornings. Literally every morning is a constant battle so to spend that extra 5 or 10 minutes on my hair or make up or to pick out pretty clothes its usually just spent on sleep. Then I go into college and I would feel so bad about myself all day because everyone looks good and I feel horrible.

Your physical appearance should be a plus not the whole package. But now in our world it is. Its becoming an obsession. I’m not saying that we shouldn’t look after ourselves and be healthy but the pressure to look good is unhealthy. We think cats are adorable no matter how skinny or fat they are, so why do we treat humans different? It takes a lot more strength to accept our bodies as it is than it does to work out everyday to make our bodies look the way other people want. 

We’ve grown up playing with Barbie’s but if a Barbie doll were a real person her body fat would be so low she wouldn’t be able to menstruate.

 When I was 16 I started the pill for menstrual reasons and it changed my whole lifestyle. I got probably the worst side effect. I retained fluid and ate the whole fridge. I couldn’t stop eating. Obviously from non-stop eating and retaining fluid I gained an excessive amount of weight in such a short amount of time. Now if anyone knew me when I was younger I was tiny. I went from a size 6 to a size 12 in 1 month. It was unrecognizable, to me anyway. I knew I put on weight but I couldn’t see how much I put on exactly. I wouldn’t go out because none of my clothes would fit me and going shopping for new one’s was out of the question because It only brought tears. It got so bad that I even starved myself for a week, well tried to. The pill didn’t only make me put weight on it made me depressed. I would cry everyday and I was in the doctors every week. It even put pressure on my brain, which caused my vision to go blurry. I was so ashamed of my body and lost complete confidence because I grew stretch marks, which every girl will get by the way! It’s so crazy now to think back because I didn’t even realize. I’m not one to boast but I’m finally down to size 8 and I know my bodies not the most perfect and ill always want it to be nice and toned and to look like a victoria secret model but i've come to the fact that ill never look like that.  It took me 1 year and a half to get to where I am now because the fluid took so long to leave my system.

I hate the fact that our body image matters in our world. Contrary is what we see in the media we are not all supposed to be the same. And we should Love every inch no matter what.

xoxo 
cj