So my opinionative mind and myself are
back, Except I'm not going to be pointing out the wrongs or the rights of
society this time its going to be about myself. I've being to dying to write on
this since my first post but I've had the leaving cert and to be honest I
didn't really know what to write as my first post wasn't really planned.
I thought since I pretty much mentioned everything
about life in my first post I thought I should talk more about myself in
this one. Sure just read ahead.
Trying to write your feelings and emotions all
on one page is annoying especially when you don't even know what you’re feeling.
The leaving cert was and will be annoying and
anyone that has done it will tell you that. Hearing the word ‘study’ every
single day for a whole school year or when your principal tells you how many
days you have until your leaving cert starts every Monday morning at assembly,
failing subjects that you actually studied for and passing the ones you didn’t
open a single book for, when your expected to know the first time they ask
you what you want to do after school when really you don't have one single
clue. Students that get uptight over tests annoy me and if you know me you’d
laugh at that because I’m one of those students.
Other things that annoy me are loud eaters, messy
eaters, parents, teachers, siblings, children when they’re crying or in
general, hearing about being in a recession every time I ask for money, when
someone repeats themselves, being socially awkward, rude people and being told
what to do.
The list can go on! Now id say is the time where
your opinion of me is that I’m the biggest moan on the planet and no
you didn't ask for this but I'm writing it anyway. Once I thought
about these things I don’t think I was able to stop. My dog howling in the
morning annoys me but if it wasn’t for him most mornings I probably wouldn’t
have got up. Brainy people that don’t use their brains annoy me. I find the sun
in my face, people asking questions or even speaking during a really good film,
heartless people, people that aren’t affectionate, attention seekers, people
that look for arguments, people that lie about studying, intimidating people,
when I failed to stay awake in class, math and learning things that don’t
interest me, when your nice pen wastes, girls not eating in front of boys, our
generation & society (I'm guessing you picked that one up already though),
the noise of the clock, chipped nail polish, people taking your clothes, all
annoying
I find boys annoying and girls but
who doesn't? I find falling for someone annoying, I find mixed
signals annoying and most importantly I find mistakes and regrets annoying!! I
also find life annoying but what would it be if it wasn’t.
The things that annoy me are quite simple. They’re
the little things in life, things I notice everyday. My own personal things I
find annoying are my handwriting, my shoe size because I’m between three
(6,7,8), being a coeliac is annoying! But that’s for another post. My laziness,
my mind, how much I hate talking and how unsocialable I can be, crying a lot,
being anxious all the time is annoying and the one that annoys me most is not
having confidence at all but I’m going to tell you is what everybody tells me,
‘that comes with age.’
Now to mix it up a bit..
Writing makes me so happy. I love being given a
challenge and writing about it even if it is difficult. Its not the writing
that I love so much its the words how innocent and silently they sound
yet can be so effective towards oneself. Words that are wrote down by
so many people or said by so many people over and over again and nobody gets
tired of hearing them. Well except the word LIKE. I know I say that a
lot! There are a lot of things that I would say make’s me happy but two most
important ones are my family and friend’s. There always there to pick me
straight back up when I fall down (sounds sappy I know).
Surprises, Christmas, celebrating birthdays
especially mine, listening to music, getting lost in a really good book and off
course finishing one, being in bed when its raining, waking up in the middle of
the night to realize you have 4 hours or more left to sleep, makes me happy. I
love playing with my dog or when he snuggles up to me but not when he’s moating
hair which is now because it’s a nightmare. Being comforted by a friend makes
me happy, taking pictures and looking back at old ones, thinking of travelling
the world makes me happy, knowing that I’m finished school makes me happy but
ill also say scary.
To be honest I prefer and appreciate the little
things more, Its all us woman/girls ask for. They will always put a big
smile on my face. Being made a cup of tea without asking or getting bought
something in a shop. Expeciallly skittles (the sour ones) if your planning on
buying me something. I also love coming home and my bed has fresh sheets and a
duvet on it and adding to that would be new pyjamas which every girl loves.
Getting dressed up to go out makes me happy. Sleepovers make me happy as
you should know all girls love a sleepover. Models talking about how bad and
stressful being a model is makes me happy, just because I’ve always wanted to
be one. Losing that extra pounds you put on after the Christmas holidays makes
me happy. Excercising makes me happy.
Late nights, talking on the phone, long text messages, when somebody
knows your there for them, somebody coming to me for advice, compliments that
don’t come regular even though I don’t believe half of them.
The list goes on and on but id be here all day if I named everything.
Now to get to the weird stuff. You’ve probably realized I wonder about a
lot of things and blab on a lot maybe even talk garb. And I agree I do think
and wonder all the time. I over think every single time I’m alone but even
though I know that I always want to be alone. Even though I want to be alone I
never want to be lonely and when I am, guess what I give out about it.
Over thinking.. everyone does it but does it happen the same for
everyone. For me overthinking is just words and voices in my head being jumbled
up and mixed around over and over again. Its different peoples words mixed by
other peoples words but said by that little voice in your head and the only
person who can hear that voice is you. Does everyone’s sound the same? I always
wonder is that little voice the devil or our guardian angel or maybe both.
I wonder about where space ends or does it and about the other planets
and what is on them. I wonder what’s at the bottom of the oceon. I wonder about
the future and what’s going to change. I wonder about the people all around me
and what there thinking. I wonder how much pain there going through or how much
happiness there feeling but they don’t care enough to show it. I wonder about
the world and the different countries. I wonder if dinosaurs still exist
somewhere or if mermaids are real. I wonder life. I wonder about writers and
what inspired them to write there story’s. I wonder about john green and the
fault in our stars and in that book I wonder about an imperial affliction.
I wonder about EVERYTHING.
xoxo
Cj