As an 18 year old woman your probably all thinking what the hell does she know about love or heart breaks or relationships. Well to be pretty honest I don’t know one single think about relationships, love or heartbreaks because the one relationship I was in didn’t really last long( 5 weeks to be exact), but then again I still cried over him, and nope he isn't the only one. Relationships are central to peoples lives they bring warmth and happiness or suffering and pain. Which do you prefer? Most of the time young girls like myself have gone through so much bullshit from being so young that we don’t want a relationship when we grow older. We build our walls so high that nobody can break them down and who knows the person we meet while we have our walls built up could be someone that should have been in our lives. Ye know your so-called SOUlMATE. We get told by our friends that there bad news and you’ll get hurt.
From a young age I was told that your going to get your heart broken sooner or later and you’d even cry over boys, but why is that? Why does our mothers have to sit there and hug us while we cry over who we think Is an our important character in our lives when really there just a background character. Why do they have to sit with us and explain to us about how boys brains are in their private parts and they actually don’t think with what’s up in their head. Why do are fathers have to worry about boys breaking our hearts when really that’s what they did when they were younger is that them caring or just there guilty conscious kicking in. I'm not giving you some old-fashioned sappy love story or what every girl wants to here because I’ve been thinking about writing this a long time.
As you should know my names Ciara and I’m 18 (June the 4th). I live in Dublin in unfortunately the year when all teenagers realized that society is garbage! 2014.
My entire life I’ve been trying to realize who I am and what I want to be. We all have been asked from such a young age what would you like to be when you grow up? And most of us at the age of 3 and upwards have said between the lines a fairy godmother, a supermodel, an astronaut, a ballerina, a firefighter, a policeman, a professional athlete, a doctor or a teacher. And at that age we thought they were pretty original. How good would it be if it were easy as that? From such a young age your told you can be anything you want in the world but whatever it is you have to work for it, thrive for it and achieve your goals. Isn’t that what everyone complains about? We don’t complain about achieving our goals we complain about working so hard for something that in the end our career path might completely change. We grow up in a society where your body image is more important then school, where school Is the most stressful place on earth! If your not academic in 6th year lets just say your fucked. If you barely past a test you say ah sure at least I past. If you don’t get at least 300 points In your leaving cert you cant go to college and have to go do "a long way around it". They ask us why we wouldn’t want to go to college when really most of us do we just don’t want to face reality or realise your not as smart as the girl who ‘never study’s’. We live in a society of technology. Young boys and girls are becoming more and more disconnected from the world by being on it. You go to the playground and whom do you see there? Young teenagers doing drugs or drinking alcohol. You don’t see toddlers running around anymore because they’re at home using mommy’s ipad playing with talking tom or candy crush. We call young children smart now days because they know how to use an iPhone and how long does it take for an elderly person to use it? Is it because there stupid? We listen to music to block out the world around us because who wants to listen to your mother giving out to them for not studying or that drug addict on the bus that’s playing his own music out loud at the back. We listen to music because we want to block out what we don’t want to hear or see. We are in a society were being a virgin at 17 or 18 is unheard of and where boys use and abuse girls and then look for someone that has never been used or abused? To me it doesn’t make sense.
I’ve always being a quite girl with not many friends, anxiety problems, very emotional, honest, arguemental and off course has a wall. There’s one question I ask myself everyday and that’s what would of happen if I was born in the black and white days? Where yes that society obviously had their problems too with the whips in school and strict ground rules, which would be bed at 9 or the doors are locked. But which is better this one or that one? What happened to no sex till marriage, where if you wanted to bring someone on a date you had ask them to there face, where once you kissed a boy they were yours and you were theirs now a days a kiss is just a kiss and if they want something more to proceed it will if not it was a kiss that meant nothing. How do we live in this world where teenagers are so afraid of ordering a take away on the phone that they have to get there mother to do it because they have no social skills, why is it that if you don’t go to the gym your not attractive, or you do go the gym and miss leg day your still not attractive. All girls will say I wish I was born a boy or boys have it so much easier. Yes I agree to a certain extent boys don’t get periods or hormonal or aren’t expected to know straight away how to act sexually on someone and do it right the first time. But there still human and they still get hurt. Us girls we look for Mr. perfect the boy of our dreams who’s not too cliché or too sappy. We search for our movie but how do they expect us to all find our happy ending if were in an unhappy society. We could be with the wrong guy/girl when the right one is standing right beside you as your ‘best-friend’. The society we live in is us. We blame it but we are it. Well all I can say is FUCK IT & FUCK US. If I could create a monster I would call it US not SOCIETY. We made it we can change it!
CJ
xoxo
CJ
xoxo